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Below are the 7 most recent journal entries.

	2004.11.09  05.24 Perseverence, names and observations ( NaNo Pep Talk Letter ) I included that because I quite seriously agree with everything there about Week Two being a downer. I've been depressed and actually getting onto the computer has been an effort, let alone writing anything. Nonetheless, tonight I let go and got that up and out. I'm not happy with it, but I've learned a lot more about Dylan McCarthy than I thought I would- including his name and family ties. He doesn't want to let me know too much about what happened to him in prison, either. I don't think anything particularly hideous happened to him, but I think he might have seen some pretty awful stuff. And I'm still not sure what the fight was about, the one where his nose got broken. I've taken down a page of notes while writing this; about Dylan's family, and about Bosworth's election campaign. If Bosworth wins this election, it will be his third term. He's good at running campaigns with cheesy, corny slogans- "Down With Drugs" is only the beginning. And like all drug education programmes, everyone actually using drugs laughs their heads off at them and says how lame they are- because, really, when's the last time anyone saw a drug education programme that didn't sound like it was written by people who'd never even snorted a fucking vitamin tablet as a kid? ( Jessie grumbles about politics- it might show in the book... ) Dylan and his schoolmates who went to the public school near Hurley used to laugh at the kids who went to St. Dominic's- the private Catholic all-boys' school a few suburbs away where Martin got his education. Kyle is going to rock up in the next chapter. I've actually started writing dialogue which happens much further down the track in notebooks. It's weird- I never write chunks of my novels in longhand, yet this one is different. I think it's to do with the word count- I don't want to be counting in words that I might be scrapping. Speaking of that, the chapter I just posted, about Dylan, was initially going to be about Martin- but it didn't feel right, so there are two-and-a-half thousand words about Martin which haven't been used yet. ( On Dylan, and on naming things, places and people in this one... ) I feel like it's got a bit more direction now, and while it's VERY fucking far from something I'm pleased with, I'm a lot more optimistic than I was this time last week. Isn't November 9th some day that I should remember for some reason? Crap. I'll bet it's someone's birthday or World Give a Fuck About Something Day or something else. If I owe you Happy Birthdays, I seriously apologise, and I apologise for being so tasteless about it. I did remember, I just didn't remember who it was for. I want to buy this account and make icons for each of my characters. Because I'm such a fucking dork. Mood: optimistic

	2004.11.05  08.10 I am Jessie's vaguely political annoyance I am sick to fucking death of seeing people crow about the election. And look, this is my NaNo journal, I didn't want things to get political, but wtf is there to crow about? And what kind of fuckwit chooses to do it in the "I Hate Myself and I Want to Die" forum on NaNo's website? All right- someone posted that Bush getting in depressed them and had stopped their creative juices flowing... I can sort of understand that- that belongs in the dismal area. But squeeing about it? In the depression zone? That's fucking off-topic as well. Maybe that says plenty about the intelligence of your average Bush-voter. Two years in the Harry Potter fandom has turned me into an "Oi! That's Off-Topic" grouch. 23 years of life has turned me into a cynical curmudgeon. Four more years of the US and Australia living under the religious right- who the fuck knows what that's gonna do to me? Maybe it'll turn me into a writer. Mood: depressed

	2004.11.03  05.35 Steffi: a realisation. Steffi's main failing, which is both irritating and amusing to me- is that she stereotypes people and has a very Walter-Mitty imagination. A bunch of European-looking guys in suits rock up, and she's dead convinced that they're Mafia wiseguys, for example. And starts thinking that they want to off her boss. *giggles* Mood: amused

	2004.11.01  00.20 It starts This year NaNoWriMo is starting for everyone on the first of November in their local timezones, unlike last year, so here goes nothing... I developed cold feet about it a few hours ago. But here goes anyway. Mood: determined

	2004.10.12  23.55 Politics ( My characters' politics ) I'm actually glad I'm doing NaNo, because everything else seems so big and daunting and depressing right now. I probably will just find NaNo to be yet another stress when I start it, but right now thinking about it is a nice little distraction from everything else. Mood: contemplative

	2004.10.06  00.29 Vague ideas getting less vague So... more ideas getting jotted down. I'm getting an idea of the structure, too, it's not really like anything I've written before. The closest would be From The Bordeline, only this is told in third-person narrative. It has to be, given the amount of characters involved. I really like Kim, even though I don't know her very well. Martin is starting to remind me of a guy I once had a thing for, only Martin is an architect, not a computer salesman, and Martin is gay, whereas this bloke was incredibly homophobic. (Well, maybe he was gay, too, but Martin isn't in denial or anything.) There might be more characters, too. I think a fandomite would be amusing- a Trekkie, perhaps; and I'm getting vague ideas about a bloke who's an artist who has a drug problem. Hmm... thinking up plot for this is probably going to be as much fun as writing it.

	2004.10.03  02.46 Introduction to the Concept... So, here I go, throwing myself into it all again. I am such a dork. I so don't have time to do this. And I have no idea what I'm going to write about. None whatsoever. I've had a few fleeting ideas, but I did last year as well, and a week before- pow- along came The Way Things Are (nano_jess_y0). I actually got to know the characters while I was writing the bloody thing. To anyone who doesn't know me; hi, I'm Jess. And I've just set this up as my 2004 NaNoWriMo LJ. It's green, man... I don't even have icons yet. I haven't left much in my UserInfo, either, because it's sort of stupid of me to fix it all up if I haven't even started the novel. A forewarning, though: it's highly likely that the novel in question, whatever it turns out to be- will be dodgy. It is all about silencing your inner critic and just kamikaze writing. Another note- it's highly likely that it will be heavy. I don't believe in happy endings and can't write them. I don't know how much worse it could be than last years' effort (sexual harrassment, drug abuse, suicide, homophobia, classism and incest, anyone?) but it'll most likely be one of those "not for the faint-of-heart" reads too. If I write to express my worldview, it might be worth knowing that my view of human beings is pretty poor. If you want to read, friend away, and you're in. I tend to read my Flist and reply through this journal, too- so don't be alarmed, it's just me. And as with last year, anything hugely dodgy- including the novel itself- will be Flocked. Random squeeing because I've passed a certain benchmark probably won't be. :) Happy NaNo, everyone! :) And if you haven't registered, go register!!! Mood: apprehensive